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DA WOODS

My friend once told me about a mysterious creature known as the "Slenderman", who supposedly lurks in the woods on the outskirts of town. He said that anyone who had ever gone into the woods late at night was hunted down and killed by the Slenderman. I, of course, thought this was bullshit, but no matter how hard I tried to convince my friend otherwise, I could not shake his absurd belief in the paranormal. This called for drastic measures; one day, I bet him twenty dollars that I could spend an entire night in the woods and never get killed once. He was reluctant to accept the bet at first (after all, you'd kind of have to be an asshole to deliberately send your best friend to his death just for the sake of money), but I was eventually able to convince him to go through with it.

So, the following evening, I packed a flashlight, camping gear, and just enough food and water to last through the night. After all that was settled, I headed into the woods, where I was promptly mauled to death by a pack of rabid grizzly bears.

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