"Believe in the french fry so you can erase your friends to begin." - The Blood Cock
This is the jizz-inducing sequel to my epicly long and hard to understand ceepypasta, Water World: No Escape. What could possibly make my extremely epic story better? Zombies. Fucking zombies. I, Da Ca$hman.
What a Burger
When I was a child, I was a big fan of pornography involving ladies sticking lit candles up their holes. But some of the more popular videos bored me. That has absolutely nothing to do with this story.
Well, it all started when I was eating squids on a schoolbus. Then I got off the schoolbus. No questions. You see, I have this huge disability that causes absolutely no problems whatsoever, but I use it as an excuse to not be social and stay on the computer all the time writing creepypastas.
I walk past the kiddie pool, and I'm a pedophile, but that's not true.
I'm in a locker room with The Pope. How the fuck did I get here? Let's go to the wave pool.
That's not the wave pool.
The wave pool is filled to the brim with fucking zombies. They tower 50 feet to the sky. I guess that also means the zombies made the sky fall. Damn this place is fucking weird.At the top of the 50 foot pile of zombies is King Squidward. He's got two mouths. He's got his normal one and there's also one that sucks children's dicks. I climbed atop the 50 foot of Zombies...somehow...and attempted to kill King Squidward. But instead I got my foot stuck in his asshole and had to fly through the sky to escape. This is really not the best day of my life.
Then I broke my neck.
I found The Empire State Building. King Kong was on top of it. He was chilling with C3PO. That's nice. Moving along then.
I went into The Empire State Building. The floor was a see-through plexiglas, and there were a ton of zombies trying to kill people under the floor. I feel bad for all the sharks that turned into robot lazer-dodging unicorns in the process. You never want to be turned into a robot lazer-dodging unicorn. Especially if you're a penguin. Or are listening to David Bowie. That's the worst part.
I walked up the Stairway to Heaven. There I met John Bonham, Cliff Burton, Jimi Hendrix and Ronnie James Dio. That's where I came. It was like discovering women shoving candles in their clit all over again. They played my favorite songs for me, before shoving me over the stairway. I fell through the plexiglas and into the horde of zombies.
And the Next Day, and the Next Day, and the Next Day, and the Next Day
[Insert Dante's Inferno here.]
La Cocka Nostra
I fell into a bottomless pit. There I met a bunch of zebras stuffing their legs up their own asses. I walked. There were some giraffes stuffing their necks up their asses. I started to question how that was possible. I walked further. Lions, tigers and bears, stuffing some weird shit up their asses. I realized then that I was to watch animals shove stuff up their asses forever. This is what Ronnie James Dio has done to me. Fuck that guy, Ozzy Osbourne was better anyways.
Daaaayum that's some good self-advertismenet.
Written by I, Da Cashman.