|FAIL OF THE MONTH (May 2015)
I loved the Homestar Runner website. I would go to it every day and watch the adventures of Homestar, Strong Bad and the rest of the gang. When the Brothers Chaps stopped updating the site in 2010, I was devastated, but two years later, Matt Chapman posted a photo of part of the script for SBEmail 206 (SBEmail was one of my favourite features of the site).
I went to the H*R site 6 months later and typed in the address bar sbemail206.html. It started with a title screen saying "Death" in the Lappy's font. That was unnerving, but I pressed on. It started out as described, with Strong Bad blowing dust and cobwebs off the Compe's screen, when Strong Mad started saying something, but the audio cut out. Strong Bad then answered the email, which went like this:
Dear Strong Bad
How would you like it if we sent you away forever?
The content of the email was shocking, and the sender's name more so. The sound then cut back in, then it cut to Strong Mad and the Cheat. The Cheat had been disemboweled and skinned and a pool of blood was coming out of Strong Mad's crotch. He was naked and pressing his singlet against what was left of his manhood, which lay next to the Cheat's corpse. The audio then cut back in, and Strong Mad was crying, however it sounded too real to be acting. Strong Bad then started saying a distorted line of text backwards. I recorded it with Audacity, paused it with my seekbar and then reversed the line of text, and it was:
"Homestar Runner is dead."
The voice sounded eerily like that of Wenanty Nosul from the Nightmare board game's accompanying VHS.
Strong Bad then opened the attachment and it showed Missy Palmer being brutally raped by four men. They were calling her Marzipan. Mike Chapman was bound to the wall, blindfolded and gagged. The cameraman then went into the Chapmans' home recording studio, where two more men were forcing Matt to record lines in the voices of the Homestar characters.
It then cut back to the Compe, where Strong Bad then said "You can't escape", then in Matt Chapman's everyday voice, "You sick ba-", followed by the sound of a man punching Matt. Strong Bad then went out into the Field. The Poopsmith was eating whatsit. He then let out a low rumbling sound that sounded like a human voice. I recorded it with audacity, and reversed it and sped it up. This is what was said:
Written by FokkerTISM