|TROLLPASTA OF THE MONTH (December 2014)
Pokemanz: Remotely Off-colour Maroon
when i waz only 5 yrz old, i had dis reel cewl pokemanz game. It waz sooo allsome. Made up 4 da fact i had no frends becuz i waz hideous an every1 pull teh funz out of me (fuck those guys, seriously).
but den, i stop playin da game an it got relly angry at me. Evertime i sore it, hyper-realistic blood wood drip from da cartridge. Da game hate me (like doz dicks at school) becuz i wasn't playin with it. Becuz den i waz to buzy playin with teh FARMVILLES like a true baws.
1 day dou, i wen to dis garage sale at 25 yrz old. i was a no-life scum who worked at mcdonalds an eat the catchup stains of ppls pants. i wasn't vary proud of teh self. drov round in a shitty 1987 toyota corrola like a teenage jerk-off.
wen i went to da garage sale i sore a creepy-ass mutha-fucka runnin da shin-dig. shifty as hell, look like he got dun wiv robbin an old-persons home, yall-mean? so i gos up to dat guy an assk; "So wats u got for da sales, ya creepy-ass lookin muda-fuka." den da turd shot back; "your life, asswipe." i new i couldnt win dis fight so i dind't try. dis guy waz life fucking goku with da curse words, y'know. i allso didnt wanna get stabbed. "Na, really brah. what ya really got for salez?" "Look around dipshit." Den i realiz, evrythink was set-up alrdy. me so dumb. "thanks anywayz," fucking dick.
Written by Zerahawk