Ok so there was this heterosexual american republican good ol boy from america and he was convicted of a crime he didn't commit. as punishment, he was locked in a room and had to smoke a bunch of that hippy crap they call marijuana.
They had a massive brick of it (Marijuana comes in bricks trust me I am an expert). and they gave him a sledgehammer.
The man was worried about smoking the weed because he might turn into a liberal hippy treehugger. So he pretended the weed was Russian flags and when he was lighting the joint up he was burning it.
He lit up the first joint and felt the smoke come into his nose. Suddenly he screamed in pain as he had a desire to eat something that wasn't steak. Hippy gumbo poured from his mouth and eyes. Somehow, he managed to toss the joint from his mouth.
He looked at the massive brick he had to smoke. They took away the paper he was using to roll the blunts up at this point.
"This there joint aint a joint. Its wunna dem fuggin commie flags nd am burnin it n gonna save Russia give m all the freedums", he said to himself as he stood over the brick, holding his lighter. He had to burn the entire thing all at once.
As the massive wall of smoke engulfed his face, burning off his "NOBAMA" mark tattooed on his forehead, he suddenly grew long hair and could only say "Save the whales, save the whales". His skin was replaced with hemp and his bones became tofu. When it was finally over, the man took a deep breath of relif, and looked at what remained to be burned.
Turns out half of the hemp was wet. He had to burn it again. All he could do was stare at the brick, and quietly said to himself, "That's no russian flag."