Originally by evilroda
At the final debate before the 2012 election…
“BARACK OBAMA! I challenge you to a sexual duel!”
“You’re on, Romney! You can fuck Hitler, like the dirty fascist you are.
“And you can fuck Stalin, like a Godless commie.”
“It’s settled, then! Let us transform and kidnap them from time!”
“RIGHT PRISM POWER!” shouted Romney. His magical wardrobe extended over his body, making him exceptionally beautiful.
“LEFT PRISM POWER!” shouted Obama, his dress extending over his body in such a way that his magnificent ass seemed over a billion times more magnificent.
“OUR POWERS CUMBINE (geddit) TO CREATE: TIME PORTAL!” they screamed in unison, pointing at the wall.
Suddenly, a Portal of Time opened, and Romney and Obama walked through.
The entire crowd was baffled.
Somewhere inbetween Germany and Russia, June 20, 1941…
“Oh, Stalin, you’re looking so sexy…”
“Mmm, you’re not looking to shabby yourself, Hitler…”
As they began to make out, suddenly, a Time Portal opened up on the far wall, and out came Romney and Obama.
“Salin! Hitler! We’ve come to have sex with you!” said Romney.
“Okay!” said Stalin and Hitler in unison, happy to have a foursome.
“What are we going to use for lube, though?” asked Stalin.
“Peanut butter and jelly!” said Obama, pulling two jars out of his ass, which happens to be the second most awesome storage space in the universe.
“What about us?” asked Hitler of Romney.
“Superglue!” said Romney, pulling a jar out of his own ass, which happened to be the third most awesome storage space on the planet.
“Wait, wouldn’t the glue harden and trap you inside of me?” Hitler inquired.
“No, Hitler, your anal juices will keep it from drying.”
“Okay!” Hitler was okay with it.
So then Obama spread some peanut butter all around Stalin’s asshole, and then dropped his pants to reveal his gigantic cock, which was approximately 426.333333 (repeating) kilometers long, because he was a Godless commie who used metric. Then he started to spread jelly all over his massive dick.
Romney drops his pants, revealing his own tiny ten foot long cock. Then he smashes the jar in his left hand, and shoves it up Hitler’s ass, spreading the glue and broken glass all around his anal cavity.
“Alright!” shouted Obama, “We penetrate in three! Two!” Stalin and Hitler braced themselves for the lovemakeing of their lives. “One! PENETRATE!” Suddenly, Romney and Obama’s cocks went up the asses of Stalin and hitler, and they started fucking in Ernesto Guevara (geddit).
Obama was frustrated because Obama couldn’t get his cock all the way in, so with another hard thrust, his mansword went in all the way to the hilt, coming out of Stalin’s mouth. “Oh, Obama, your peanut butter and jelly cock tastes so fucking good!” said Stalin, except his mouth was full of Obama’s cock, so it sounded motre like, “OH OAHA, HUOURE HEAHUH HUHER AHN EWHY HOH AYH HO HUHY HOO!” There wasn’t any shit on Obama’s cock, because Stalin kept his asshole extremely clean, like a good citizen of the Soviet Union.
Meanwhile, Romney was right about the glue, Hitler’s ass juices did indeed keep it from drying. “Oh Romney, yeah, fuck me hard!” he said in a sultry manner.
“I’m gonna cum!” they all screamed in unison, and so they did. The entire room was flooded with cum, and they all bathed in it for a day.
The next morning, Romney and obama asked Hitler and Stalin, “Okay, so who was better?”
“Romney, hands down!” said Hitler. “No, Obama was better!” said Stalin. “Bullshit, you fat fuck!”
“HITLER!” screamed Stalin shockingly. “You called me fat?! I HTE YOU!’ he said as he bagan to weep. “THIS MEANS WAR!”
So Romney and Obama went back to the future and had an election and Romney lost. Stalin and Hitler went to war and Hitler got curb stomped by the combined forces of the Soviet Union and a Russian winter. The end.