Since everyone hates the ending to this story, I took a little time and made an alternative one. I personally find it to be a big improvement.
…And it was then that Red revealed his true form: He was John Madden all along!
I sharted myself out of sheer terror, and the sound must have caught the attention of a monster who came to my aid! And thus, the final battle did commence.
The resulting battle was so intense that it caused the NES to explode, sending the cartridge hurtling out the window and into a wall where it smashed into pieces.
I borke the game.
So I guess I win!