Hey I'm Michael, a normal teenager. One day I got home from school and there was a portal in my room and I thouht F*ck yeah and I went through it. There were colors everywhere as I fell through time and space and landed a minute later on a hard ground.
Everything was all colorful and I looked around. The magical place seemed to be filled with these weird colorful creatures like ponies or some shit and I'm like holy shit I must be in Equestria! I landed in some town and looked around at a castle in he distance.
That must be canterlot! I yelled, and then I realized I was the only human in the world, and therfore the most awesome. All of a sudden I got surrounded by a beam of magic light and then thrown to the ground. When I opened my eyes, I wasnt a human guy anymore but I was an ALICORN! It was so awesome as I looked at my new body. I had a electric green striped mane all jagged and a muscley black body and bat wings that were also black. I had a really giant horn and could do the best magic in the land with it. I also had a cutie mark that was a lightning bolt dripping with blood and it was f*cking awesome. All of a sudden there was this pink pony with curly pink hair coming at me and I'm like hello pony! She didnt say anything she just looked at me all lusty and I introduced myself. I am Lightning Thundercrash, I was a normal human teenager but now Im a pony in Equestria!
Her eyes got wide and she's all Wow youre so awesome you look like such a badass! I was just like nodding my head like yeah who runs this place? Shes all Celestia and Luna the princesses. Im like I have to defeat them to become KING OF EQUESTRIA! I put the pink pony on my back and flew to the canterlot castle and kicked down the door with my strong leg. I yelled CELESTIA WHERE ARE YOU IM HERE TO BECOME KING OF EQUESTRIA. There was no answer so i used my magic to find celestia, who was in another room making out with Luna and Im like aw shit thats hot but I have to defeat you both now. I blasted them apart with my magic horn and slapped them with my wings and hen I kicked Celestia in the gut and pushed her into luna, who I kicked in the gut also. I defeated both of them and went to my throne until the pink pony stopped me and she like you cant be king of equestria you have to defeat ALL OF US!
Pinky pie showed me all of these ponies from ponyville behind her and said i had to defeat all of them and im like yeah bring it on. Rainbow dash came flying at me and i kicked her in her lesbian globes. Then twilight sparkle came at me and i headbuted her across the room and i was like IM THE MOST MAGICAL BITCH! I hit fluttershy in the face with my hoof and she cried as I ate her bunny riht in front of her. I paused for a second to have sex with rarity and then i kicked her too with my magic blast and i ate applejack because she is an apple after all. i also threw pinky pie put the window and she screamed as i sat on my throne. I was the KING OF EQUESTRIA!!!
For my first order of busines I said that every pony in equestria has to learn how to use a gun and shoort things with it because now all ponies have to be badasses just like me Lihtning thundercrash. I got the biggest gun because i was the king and it was red and black and shot lihtning and fireballs and i would use it against any pony who tried to take my throne from me. Then i gave rainbow dash a big black gun and she already knew how to use it because shes a lesbian. I gave pinky pie a chainsaw because that bitch was crazy and she could saw everything and it would be awesome. I gave fluttershy a squirt gun that shooted water cause she cant do anything else. Then i gave rarity a sniper rifle becasue she can kill people from far away and she wouldnt have to get dirty of anything and she really liked it and offered to make out with me because she was so happy but im like no bitch i have to run a kingdom. And then i gave twilight sarpkle a handgun with a silencer because she wanted to be like a secret agent and im like okay thats pretty badass here take this handgun with a silencer. Last but not least i gave applejack a hunting rifle cause shes a southerner and really good at hunting things like apples. Then i had everyone all gunned up and i told the rest of equestria to WATCH OUT CAUSE YOUR KING WILL KILL EVERYONE WHO REVOLTS!
I got to stay in the castle the whole time and celestia was my own private sex slave and i got to keep her all the time for myself and she really liked it because it was me and i was the greatest of all time ever. I got luna to cook for me all these yummy ass foods and i ate all of them and i ate all of the cakes in front of celestia and that bitch didnt get any. They were so tasty cause luna made hem and shes a really good cook and she lovd to cook for me because i was the king and it was an honor.
And so I got to be king of equestria forever and it eas awesome and i was immortal. Meh meh meh i need a thousand words blah blah la la la there we go i think