Last week something happened that changed my life forever.
I woke up, 7am, I had to be fresh, go downstairs, have my bowl, and have cereal.
So after my cereal I went down to the local game store and they had a massive sign about them having a sale. I felt lucky because I was on a tight budget after last nights after midnight adventure. I walked in the shop and started browsing for a game I could buy. And suddenly one game caught my attention. It looked like the new red dead redemption but instead it was called "blue dead horny massacre". I thought nothing of it because the game was only £3.24. When I bought the game the shop owner had a tattoo of my dead nan saying "R.I.P Matty's nan" (Matty was my name). I instantly hit him until he gave me the £3.24 game for free. When I got home I played it on my xbox 360 gaming system and it seemed normal. The normal loading screens with the cadets and pictures of wooden people. After it loaded the main character John Martian appeared wearing nothing but a flower and dead nan.
I took the game back because I was offended that John Martian didn't look like a transexual beaver with STDs but the game store had been replaced by a shop called "Jarg game store lol dead nan chin phil"
I was scared and got home and my mum's sister had been killed by a evil jelly clare.