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Prologue

As an expert on summoning many types of Pokemon, including Mewtwo and Arceus, I can tell you that this Lugia-summoning recipe will never fail, unless done wrongly. The resulting Lugia will be very sexy and know many of strong moves that will make you very happy. Be careful, because if done wrongly, you might get your dick stuck in a toaster, so be warned.

Summoning the Lugia

  1. Acquire a copy of Pokemon Silver.
  2. Insert it into your anus.
  3. You can now play the game within your mind.
  4. Get a Cyndaquil as a starter, but never let it evolve. If it does, you will summon a Ho-Oh, which is bad.
  5. Get to Mt. Silver and defeat Red with Cyndaquil.
  6. Cyndaquil will now say "Thank you, sexmaster" and you will return to the real world.
  7. Cyndaquil will be infront of you. He will grant you any wish, but ask him for a Lugia.
  8. He will say "Do it yourself, lazy slut", so smack him so hard that he faints. Dispose of the body.
  9. Take the trashcan you put Cyndaquil in and pour it into a skillet.
  10. Put eggs in the skillet, along with freezerburnt steaks.
  11. Fry them for an hour. Put out any started fires, or else you will summon a Charizard.
  12. The trashcan will become a plush Lugia, but not a real one.
  13. Take pig organs and place them inside the plushie.
  14. Raise the plush to the sky, and it will be sent to Mt. Silver, which will please Lugia.
  15. Lugia will be summoned.

How To Survive Lugia

When summoned, Lugia will ask you for love, rubs, and food. If not given what he needs, he will eat you disturbingly, and it will be uploaded as an obscure vore video on YouTube. Follow these steps to survive.

  1. Kiss his forehead.
  2. Rub his head, feet, armpit, hand, and tail. Do NOT give him a belly rub, because he finds that as an invitation to his internal organs, and you will suffer the said fate above.
  3. Give him the freezerburnt steaks, he will eat them.
  4. Offer him an Axolotl. If you cannot find one, a fish from the Gourami species will do.
  5. You now have a pet Lugia.

Epilogue

Enjoy your pet Lugia! I've summoned 12 of them, and one is shiny. Each of them enjoys rubs and food, so give them some every now and then. Good luck taking care of him!

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