No matter how much you try to refuse the fact, this story is true. I have much proof. Here, take this link, for god's sake. Nobody ever gives links. I do. That means that I am the only one who speaks truth here. In the court of web. The gathering plaza of humanism. The land... of Darkness, too.
I forgot. Here's the link. Beware, it is not a good thing to click. Never, ever are you to click this beautiful, sky blue link, not even now, when it's sleeping calmly in the warm and comforting clouds of Wikispace. If you ever click it, it'll wake up, and it'll make this cute face that makes war veterans cry from joy. Even those who returned just a day ago. All people are, without doubt, going to be comple tely happy after seeing that smile. But you won't be one of them, right? After all, you will never click this link. It is really not worth it. I mean, it is. But, don't you think that wouldn't be nice? Wake up an innocent link from its (eww...) gross-looking slumber that might as well kill it, just for the sake of eternal luck? What kind of a person would do that? Imagine, if you ever even touched the link, it m ight get slimmer. And you know what? Being fat was it's dream for all life. I it was to be unfatted... It just might never smile again, making you the last person who ever saw its "wake-up" smile, a relic so rare people often consider it a miracle. A relic of the past, forgotten forever, sleeping nicely in your hands. Only yours. Nobody elses. Nobody else would be able to take it away fr om you, because the relic would've been gone forever, thus you would be the last bearer of it. You would be eternally respected by ev eryone, after all, such a rare, completely unfindable thing is quite valua ble. Men and women would rush to you, trying to get to you just a little. Gifts would fall on you like a waterfall, maybe some of those gifts would be courtisans? You would gain oh so many friends, on the little, small price... That being the links happiness. But who the link , who needs its h appiness? After all, if you just click it now... It would be you with all the joy. All the niceness. All the friends and most importantly... All the respect. Tell me, is it true that nobody ever REALLY respected you? They always bullied you, right? Well, now's your chance to forget bullying forever and live in complete happiness, thanks to just pressing this little link, taking its happiness and taking its unique smile. Nobody will know. Just press it. Truly, genuinely. Nobody. Nobody will ever know.
You see why nobody ever gives links, now? Each one of them, if shown in fullness, is like that. And guess what? Each one contains a story. Each story can and will change when you press it. In fact, each press, each linking job they perform makes them a little sadder. More, more, more sadder, each time you press it. And finally, it ends up as a complete Tear Jerker, or, at the very end, it might become a story that makes people kill themselves from the overwhelming surge of sadness.
That link... It was quite unique, you know? Unlike most of its kind, it described the truth about itself. If you take the happiness of that exact link, you will forever be given happiness, luck, friends, money, whatever you wish to have. Everything given from others. And if YOU, not John from the neighborhood, not Michael Smith, the Smith. It would be you, the proud presser. Why wait, then? Why not just press the link? Why not, since it's so useful? So helpful? Why not if it's such a miracle?
Links have souls, you know. Just because you want the happiness this link can give you, it won't be nice of you to do so. Nice? Bah! It would be evil. The link, its story is pre-generated. It doesn't say the truth about itself. While, somehow, the story manages to be true about the gift, about its beautifull smile, about what will happen to you if you press it... It doesn't mention whatever the link really feels about this. But I know. For I am the very Master of Internet, the Good Patrixxx. I know, that sounds weird but it's true. And, it's a matter for another story.
The link... It's really sad. In fact, there've been many suicide attempts. You can sure see the gaps in it. In its very face. It tried to kill itself. If it was to be killed, then whoever needed its happiness, they would take it just like that. It's not like the link needs in death. Nobody ever considered it a lawful owner of the happiness, anyway. It was always just a tool. A tool to link two places. Those two places were its only friends, ever, but the places didn't know each other. I am quite special, since I'm the Master, I know where every link leads, both ways. This one leads to a very bad place. It isn't a good friend. The place has always been talking to the link, giving it evil infulence. On the other side of the link...
You can see my face. Well, my evil twin's face. We are identical. The link has never been able to forget the time when Patrixxx tried to severe its link with myself. After all, even if I am not a good friend, even if I remind it of Patrixxx... I am the only one capable of keeping the other site at bay. I am part of the link's happiness, that way. While taking me away would grant you protection from all evil, potentially... It would also make the link's only friend the other site. And you remember what I've told about it. The site... It's infulence... It's really, really a not good one. Whoever created this link is a monster. Not just I think like that, the link believes so too.
That is why I'm here to stop it from thinking so. I am here to help it. Mind you, if you click this link... Its connection with me will be severed. I will still be linked to it, but at the same time, I will be not. You see, it's a sort of "Virgin" link. Upon the moment of the clicking, Patrixxx chooses a target site that will be never able to converse with the link anymore. In this case, it would be me. You know why.
I have mentioned the other site's infulence already, no? If you stop my infulence from helping this link, the other site will take over it. Take it to its side. The infulence... It is able to make the link literally severe itself from me. Do you know what happens to links that are disconected from even one target, which will surely happen if you take me, its happinesss?
This was supposed to be much more about what the link leads to, but I liked the idea of pain, and it seemed nonsense enough for this to be troll.
My story... I hope it convinced you to not click the link. Yet, there's a possiblity it did not. In any case...
You have finally seen the True Form of the Internet. The true form of the Land of Mystery. The land that literally embodies Mystery with all the mysteries that it contains. You could say that you have discovered...
The Form of Mystery