So this one time I was browsing a yard sale when I noticed a pile of old Gameboy games. Naturally, I picked the one that had its original label scraped off and the words 'EVUL POKYMANS GOARY SCARY VERSHUN' written on it in blue crayon. The yard sale guy said 'You shouldn't buy that game, it's cursed' but I said 'Shut up and take my money' and bought it anyway.
I figured he must be retarded or something, because why would you put a game out for sale at a yard sale if you don't want to sell it? Either way, I went home and dug out my old Gameboy Advance, and put the game in. It was Pokemon Red, but there was something off about the intro. The fight sequence between Gengar and Nidorino played as usual, but Nidorino's face had been cut to shreds and he was apparantley bleeding from his eyes.
There was one saved game. The trainer's name was SATAN and he had been playing for 666.666 hours and had 13 badges. I found this strange because there are only 8 badges in the game. I decided to check what Pokemon he had. He had Charizard, Raichu, Vaporeon, Snorlax, Dragonite and Gengar. Their sprites were all messed up though. Charizard, Dragonite and Gengar all looked incredibly evil; with wide, smirking grins across their faces and red bloody eyes. Vaporeon, Raichu and Snorlax all looked like they'd been mauled half to death.
I started walking around in the game, and found that I couldn't speak to anyone. Pressing 'A' on most characters did nothing, and for those that did it merely said '...'. I then realized that the Lavender Town theme was playing even though I was still on Route 2. It played no matter where I went.
Then a text box popped up and it was Vaporeon. It said 'DO YOU LUFF ME?' and then the options 'YES' and 'NO'. I chose 'No' because it was kind of a scary looking Vaporeon. 'SATAN DOESNT LOVE ME EITHER. BILL DIDN'T LOVE ME HE GAVE ME AWAY. NOBODY LOVES ME. MAYBE ITS BECUZ IM DEFOREMD BUT IT ISNT MY FALT'. Then it said 'VAPOREON used ROPE' and cut to a hyperrealistic animation of Vaporeon hanging itself.
Raichu came up next and said 'You killed Vaporeon. You bastard'. Its eyes started glowing red and then it did an electric attack but it backfired and then it died too.
I thought 'fuck this I'ma go battle some wild pokemons'. I walked into some tall grass and then the battle music started playing and then instead of a rattata or a pidgey or a caterpie or whatever, it said 'Wild GHOST appeared!'. Charizard came out and started to fight. Then it said 'GHOST used CURSE!!!!'. Charizards health went all the way down to zero and then instead of saying 'Charizard fainted' like its supposed to, it said 'Charizard died!!!' 'Oh my gods no, you can't die in pokemons they just faint this is stupid'. I thought it must be some kind of hacked version or something or nothing. GHOST then CURSED all of my other remaining Pokemon to death. Then my own sprite was facing it. I didn't know you could battle yourself if all your pokemon were fainted, or rather killed I suppose I should say. Another textbox appeared. It was the GHOST. It said 'Hello Kevin'. This took me aback because I realized that THE GAME KNEW MY REAL NAME.
It went on and on about how it was my fault they'd died and then it said 'YOU'RE NEXT KEVIN'. Then photographs of children being mutilated started flashing on my screen, so I tried to turn the gameboy off but ti wouldn't turn off and then it caught on fire for some reason. Then I started hearing the Lavender Town music wherever I went and felt like GHOST was following me around everywhere.
Then a skeleton popped out of my gameboy and strangled me, and now I'm dead. I'm never going to buy an unmarked second hand copy of Pokemon from a yard sale again; especially not since I'm dead.