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I love Sonic the Hedgehog. He's my favorite video game caracter everz. But something happened...something evil. I bought a used copy of Sonic 1 on Egenericplacetobuyusedvideogamecartidgesthatcouldbeevil.com, but it told me I needed to go to my local pre-order game store to buy it. The people there said I needed to go to a garage sale to buy it. The people at the garage sale said I needed to go to an old man in the alley way to buy it. The old man gave it to me for free, and said, "You better be careful with that game. It's EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!" But I didn't listen to him. I put the game in. The game started in Green Hill Zone, no title screen, no SEGA logo, no nuthin, bro. I was playing as Tails. Odd. I couldn't see his face, though. I saw Sonic, just sitting there. Like Tails, I could only see his back side. Tails then asked, "Hey, Sonic, do you have the time?" The voice didn't sound like any Tails. No actual voice actor, not even a kid. It sounded like a guy speaking in a low deep voice. Sonic then turned around. He looked hideous! He had his spikes, but his face looked human! He had sharp teeth, and dead cold eyes. He also had a wittle frown. He replied with, "I'M NOT SONIC! I'M MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER, BLONIC!!!" I was shocked! It wasn't Sonic! But then the camera cut to Tails. Tails had a grin on his face. He, too, looked human. "And I'm not Tails. I'm my original character, Blails!" This scared me, too! They were so original! Blonic and Blails had a conversation. "PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO GET THEIR FACTS STRAIGHT!" "I'll say." But then, Blonic puffed up like a baloon. It was SUPAH GROSS AND HYPER REALISTIC!!! "OH NO!!! I'M INEXPLICTIBLY INFLATING AGAIN!" Blails still had a grin on his face. The game ended with Blails evily saying," How imbarresing."


Blonic 2

I was the bestest of the bestest of the bestest friends with Smelly P. Winkletoes, who was paranoid by a Sonic game he bought off of a homeless man. He was so paranoid, his favorite show became Barney the Dinosaur. I saw the cartridge in his Nintendosoft Super Wiiboxstation 360U 3. Sonic didn't look like Sonic. He looked like his original character, Blonic. And Tails looked like his original character, Blails. I then saw Sonic 2. I put it in. There was no intro, yada yada yada, whatever happened before. Blonic was standing there, and he said, "YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO DO NOW, BLAILS!!!" "Sit," Blails replied. "NO! WE'VE GOT TO FIGHT DR. EGGMAN! LET'S GO ROUND UP THE TROOPS!" Blonic then appeared in a bar, and Knuckles (Or as Blonic calls him, Bluckles, so I'm assuming he's not Knuckles, but his original character, Bluckles) was just lying on the table, like if he were crying softly. "HEY, YOUR ORIGINAL CHARACTER BLUCKLES! WE NEED YOUR HELP DEFEATIN EGGMAN!" Bluckles replied in a sad tone while creepy music played, "I can't fight Eggman," Bluckles said. He then showed his face. It looked like a mixed-colored man who was depressed. "I can't do anything." "BUT HE'S A JERK," Blonic replied. "It'd be foolhearty to try, old friend. Not after the last war." I didn't know what Bluckles was talking about, but it wasn't good. "They took everything away from me, my whole family, even the twins!" He then showed a picture of the twins. And it wasn't even twins. It was A BASKET BALL PLAYER!!! I got so scared! I ran out and cried, it was so scary. I turned off the game and destroyed it. I was then taken to the same place they took Smelly. "Don't tell me I didn't try to warn you," Smelly said.

And then a skeleton popped out!

Jontron - If you can't beat em' SFM00:17

Jontron - If you can't beat em' SFM

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