So i'm a student at Cal Arts so its needless to say I love cartoons but my favorite animation channel is Cartoon Network Samurai Jack, Power Puff Girls, Ed Edd and Eddy, Courage the Cowardly Dog, etc I love them all but there was a dark period were CN sucked during 2009 the monstrosity that was CN Real raped the eyeballs of young children and immature adults fortunately CN Real was over as fast as it started but the damage had been done many remained dead and many had wounds that would never heal I still look back in horror and the nightmares never stop but it was all worth it it made me stronger and wiser I remind myself of that every time I stare at the decapitated head of Andrew W.K, mounted on my shelf i slayed the beast and his head was my prize try to Party Hard now you bastard. But I digress so after the atrocities done by Andrew W.K. CN was still in poor condition but that was until 2010 with the release of Adventure Time brought to us by the messiah himself Pennington Ward straight from his pubiy loins to you it was perfect and I loved it but eventually stopped watching and I got so behind I decide to just not worry myself by watching it all. So yesterday I was in my room watching Nanalan Henti on my computer when a message pop up it said BRND NEU EPESODA OF AMRICANT TV SERI AVENTUR TIM I was stunned at the fact that they had their hands on a new EPESODA before it was on the Tube so I immensely clicked on the link and it brought me to a video so i clicked play and for a split second a horrifying image popped up and it was Finn but it painful expression on his face it was spine tingling but I decided to ignore it and keep watching but then paused it to go get a drink so I went to the kitchen in the kitchen my roommate Tom was eating a Pizza and told me about a game he received from Kyle I think it was called Sanic.SeXe or something so I went back to the computer and pressed play and it started of like and other episode but I was missing the Intro but it did have the opening title card with Finn wearing white pants and a white shirt playing the guitar and the episode name was The Revenge
So the episode began with Finn and Jake eating lunch at the candy kingdom then Cinnamon Bun comes in yelling about how he saw a long haired monster was wandering the kingdom but Finn and Jake decided to ignore him and go to see Bubblegum Princess. Bubblegum was hanging out with Marceline and were listening to a very familiar song i think it was called Ready To Die, The video screwed up and skipped further in the episode just then I heard a screaming noise from Tom's room I went to investigate and it appeared Tom had been turned into a plushy so I left to watch the rest of the video and i forgot to pause it so all I saw was a long haired figure hold the decapitated heads of Finn and Jake and it then cut to black and open up to a scene of Bubblegum Princess and Marceline making out and as I grabbed a sock Marceline and PB started change Marceline started to decay and PB started to melt but I decided to rub one out anyway when suddenly the Hyper realistic face of Andrew W.K. appeared and yelled "YOU THOUGHT IT WAS THAT EASY TO GET RID OF ME" I immediately shat my pants "NO NO NO HOGARTH YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME I WON'T STOP TIL CN IS DESTROYED" Andrew I should've know it was you well no dice i won't let you kill CN with your trying to hard to be edgy programming I killed you once i'll do it again. the Head of Andrew W.K. on my self started to shake and grew into a giant monster I was scared so i through my sock at him " DUDE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR JIZZ AT ME" that was it Jizz was his weakness so readied my hands and was ready to blow that fucker away ( Disclaimer!!! Due to the graphic nature of this scene we've decided it is best not to describe this scene to you so just imagine the Sex Scene from Scary Movie yeah pretty gross) Andrew began to melt and his last words were "REALLY DUDE YOUR FUCKING JIZZ" thus ends my story I went on to make cartoons for CN and as for Tom well I sold him at a Flea Market and gave the game to a cop so a stupid squeal could be made.
In Loving Memory of Tom