Once upon a time there was a star in the fucking sky before the universe existed. It was a feget and got made fun of by itself... what the fu- then it exploded because it was depressed and had anxiety, even though it had a great life. Then the fucking universe was fucking made and if you're fucking wondering why I'm fucking saying fucking so fucking much it's fucking because i'm Leonardo DeFuckingCaprio. Anyway so God was all like "fuck you" and made Earth, which he put people on. He planned to have a man named Adam and a girl named Eve, but then society was all leik "you're gaycist" and he was forced to make it 2 men named Adam and Steve. He wanted to make it Madame and Eve, but the LGBT community told him he was sexist and just wanted to see lesbian sex. He lied and said he didn't but fuck you. So Adam and Steve had a happy life of being fucking retards and having the most fucking annoying voices you will EVER hear. So it got to the point when Steve started to get lustful, and demanded Adam fuck him. Adam was al leeik "fuck yeah betch" and God closed his eyes when they had buttsex. So God got pissed off and told Steve to eat the forbidden fucking apple and he did it because gay people are retards and died, and so did Adam, but not before having two mentally handicapped children. They were called Tweedledee and Tweedlefuck. Then they created retarded people and God was disappointed by humanity, so he created Elves to be the perfect humans. After millions of years, these Elves all died and were replaced by cavemen, who later became what God wanted: British people. But then after a few hundred years those amazing British people became 12 year old fucking retards who got fat off of mountain dew and doritos while screaming at call of duty and watching some Swedish cuck play shitty internet games on newgrounds. God lost faith in humanity and shot himself, the fucking end. Directed by Martin Scorsese.

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